Alex, whom I mentioned in the Bra Meltdown blog, grew up in a household where breastfeeding and homebirths were, and are the norm, and in turn, those are the choices they’ve made for their baby bump. We were chatting the other day when she mentioned that she HAD to go for a prenatal test the following week. She was shocked when I brought to her attention that she didn’t have to take any of the tests, but rather that it was her choice. You’ll note, I didn’t say she shouldn’t do the testing, simply that they are all choices.
It can be hard when we receive information from health care providers, to process the difference between them telling you about your options and giving you informed consent, and thinking
that they’re telling you what needs to be done. When the new baby arrives, and you’re concerned not only about you but about him or her it can be even more complicated, and more important!
Here are a few good questions to get you thinking when it comes to testing and procedures. With a little tweaking however, they can be applied to pretty much all decision making.
1. What is it?
2. What information does it provide?
3. How accurate is the information? (This one is key as many tests, especially prenatal ones as many only determine the increased possibility of something, not whether or not for sure)
4. Faced with the worst case scenario would I do anything
5. Faced with the worst case scenario, how would it impact my mental/emotional/physical well-being to know or not to know?
We also use a couple of different acronyms in the birthing field that help us to encourage our clients to ask the questions they need to get the answers they want:
A-Alternatives (What other options are
I-Intuition (what does your gut
N-Nothing (what happens if you wait or don’t do
D-Discuss and Decide
I prefer BRAIN, as it’s easy to remember to use your brain, but chose the one that works best for you. If you’d like more suggestions on what questions to ask, or resources to find quality information give us a call.
Why should you hire a doula? Cause it all starts with Green Poop. I know you’re sitting there laughing, and probably rolling your eyes. But it’s true. My very first conversation with Alex had that as its primary topic. She was early in her pregnancy and her poop was green and called me to find out if she should be worried. I also get postpartum clients who call me to ask me if their babies’ poop
should be green. It’s funny, green seems to be a popular colour.
So what does green poop have to do with doulas? Nothing , and everything. What’s important is the fact that Alex felt comfortable enough with me to call me and ask. We had developed a relationship where she trusts me not to laugh at her, or at least just snicker quietly, and she trusted my knowledge, and my ability
to find out what I don’t already know.
So what does a doula do? We become a member of your family; we laugh with you; cry with you; mourn with you and rejoice with you. We give you information and tips and tricks without judgment.
We tell you what’s worked for previous clients, and share our knowledge and experience without telling you what to do. We empower you to ask the questions to get the answers you need to feel comfortable and secure. We support you and your partner and your family, in any way you need while standing in the background and cheering you on. We strengthen you together, rather than standing between you.
We sit with you at 3am and listen to you commiserated over your husband, or mother, or sister or best friend who just doesn’t understand, and help you see what they do understand, and provide suggestions on how to explain your needs more clearly.
We help you get sleep, which in turn takes you from making it through the day, to enjoying your baby during the day.
We answer your questions. Everything from green poop to what can I eat, to can I drink coffee, to will being 26 weeks pregnant and going to a imax movie deafen my baby? Everything from crazy to amazing to off the wall, to genuine concerns that demonstrate that
you just want to be the best parents you can. We do it all. And in the end, we build you up, give you confidence, and we walk away
knowing that we’ve changed lives for the better and that we get to do it all again tomorrow.
That’s why you need a doula, and why I love being one!
A friend, let’s call her Alexia, Alex for short, is currently20+ weeks pregnant and wears a 40 to 42 F bra. Now she has never had tiny
boobs to start with, but pregnancy has certainly endowed her along the way. One of her biggest struggles,and honestly most emotionally challenging experience has been bra shopping. She has called me in tears from changing rooms and sworn up and down and sideways that she was going braless from here on forward. Given her job in retail, it would have made things interesting, and perhaps boosted her sales. Her issues weren’t helped by the staff insisting she was a size that she actually wasn’t.
Here are a few tips/ideas to circumvent some of the bra drama.
1. Don’t go bra shopping alone. It can be a stressful experience, but can be made much better when you have someone to laugh and joke with, and someone to pull a different size, even if the staff disagrees
2. Don’t wait too long. As your bras get uncomfortably snug go shopping right away. This way, even if you can’t find the size you need in store, you know what it is, and you’ll be much happier when you’re comfy again.
3. Buy a couple of bras per size but don’t buy too many. Alex started at a 36 DD, and isn’t done growing yet. Not everyone has that big of a change, however, it’s likely that you’ll go through a few size changes. There’s no point in having a lot of bras that no longer fit, and may never fit again. Instead, if you seem to level out, you can always buy more later when they’re on sale.
4. Regardless of the size, make sure they make you feel good about yourself and they’re comfy. Both are equally important, especially when you’re pregnant.
5. Before going to specialty stores and spending $175 on bras, think outside the box a bit. Many people think of department and maternity stores but stop there.
a. If you have a larger band size, try plus sized clothing stores.
There often carry 38+ and cup sizes from B to H or higher. Remember, you may have to go to a larger center to get the size or
pattern you like, but you can try them on in store, and order them online.
b. There are lots of websites that sell pregnancy/nursing bras. Some of them even have stores that
carry them, but sell more designs and sizes
i. Try ww.lindasonline.com
iv. www.hotmilklingerie.com to name a few, or just do an internet search for pregnancy or nursing bras.
6. Nursing bras have gotten much more comfortable, more attractive and more readily available in the past 12 years. The trap we fall into is buying them and wearing them as pregnancy bras, because we’ll need them anyways. When the baby comes however, you may want a different style, especially one without underwires for the first couple of months, or need a different size. It’s better to buy them closer to when the baby is born, and save them for they’re needed.
Any funny lingerie shopping nightmares out there? Let’s hear your