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Should I Stay (home) or Should I Go (back to work)?

4/10/2013

2 Comments

 
Picture
He is seven months old and the internal debate is raging! Once again, I am not here to tell anyone  what to do (shocking I know). I am strictly talking about my own little debate with myself, and the challenges our family faces when trying to come up with a plan that works for everyone in the future! I know so many amazing parents who work long hours and have raised beautiful well adjusted and loved children! I  know first hand the gift and joy of being raised by a stay at home mom! There is  just no one answer to this debate, each family is facing a different challenge!

I had always dreamed of staying home with my children until they were at least in full day school. My mom stayed home with us and I am eternally grateful for her sacrifice! She gave up her career and committed her self to playing with us, teaching us, and introducing us to the this big beautiful world. When I became pregnant shortly after starting a great new job, I started thinking that I might really miss going to work! The seeds of the dilemma were planted!

There are two major things to think of here …
“What  do I want to do?” and of course “What solution can we
afford?” My fellow Type  A’s are probably all shouting at me to make a list (or two, or three…) of my  pros and cons. Believe me I have! I have done list after list after list! The  end result is the same, I want it all!

Is that too much to ask?

I  want to go back to work where I can interact with a variety of
people, where I  can excel doing things that I am really good at and where I can solve problems  with confidence! I also want to be the primary caregiver for our little man.  When we work out the dollars and cents, well, I will not even go there, let’s  just say that child care is beyond expensive but we are not independently  wealthy…

I start to sweat just thinking about how much of his life I will  miss while I am working! We have odd/long hours my husband and
I, so we would  not get to eat dinner with him, or be there for bath time, many nights we would  not even be there to put him to bed!

There is just no easy answer. No  matter what we do there will be a substantial amount of sacrifice and we may  have regrets. When it comes down to it, there is no great answer, not for  us.

What were you willing to sacrifice? How did you make your decision  work for you?

Submitted By: Sarah Sansom


2 Comments
TMH
4/10/2013 10:18:06 am

Sarah, first, I count myself lucky that I even have a choice at all, and go from there. Many parents have no choice; parents in some places don't get leave or job protection.

I made the choice to return to work outside the home twice, once after a single baby; then again after twins. Even then, it is a choice that I revisit often, possibly weekly. This doesn't mean that I don't love my job, or my kids. I remind myself that no choice is 'permanent' and that I can change my mind if, on balance, everyone is unhappy with things.

So far, my kids all seem happy and balanced. The truth is, I'm not always that way. What did I give up? Any semblance at personal time - work usually starts up after my kids go to bed. Weekends are fully devoted to kids, since I want to spend all my non-working time hanging with them. And, the stress of sick kids, sick caregivers and school emergencies pull in many directions.

I'm not sure it's the right choice, but it is the right choice for now (and part of me just wanted to show up all the people who swore I'd never return to work after my twins).

My advice - make your choice, give it 3 months to sink in, re-evaluate, and don't let any grown-ups guilt you either way. Good luck!

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  • Home
    • Contact Us
    • Belleez & Babeez Blog >
      • By Debbie Fazio: Parenting Coach
      • Jessica Jhaj PNSW Blog
      • By Sabrina: A sleep consultants journey with her new baby!
      • By PNSW Ange - It all started with green poop!
      • By IBCLC Daphne: The world of breastfeeding
      • By Lauren: Sleep training from a moms view
      • Guest Blogs:Everything mommy, family & business
      • Send us your Blog
    • Community Links >
      • Toronto Community Resources
      • York Region Community Resources
      • Peel Community Resources
      • Halton Community Resources
      • Hamilton/Stoney Creek Community Resources
      • Niagara Region Community Resources
  • Meet the Babeez Team
    • Meet our Team
    • Meet our Sleep Consultants
    • Our Babeez Village
    • Testimonials
  • Our Services
    • Virtual Support
    • Pregnancy >
      • Belleez & Babeez Prenatal Classes
      • Babeez Ed Class
      • NEW BABEEZ CONSULT
      • Labour & Birth Support
    • Baby >
      • NEW BABEEZ CONSULT
      • Postpartum Support & Home Care
      • Sleep Consultations & Coaching >
        • Book a Sleep Consult
        • Debbie's Sleep Testimonials
        • Paula's Sleep Testimonials
        • Video Testimonials - NEW >
          • Annie
      • Lactation Support
    • Toddlers >
      • Sleep Consultations for kids 2-4 years
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  • Become an Affiliate
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